Her Secret: A Billionaire Romance Read online

  I barely slept. It was always that way when I was someplace new. It didn’t matter how extravagant my surroundings were. The white impersonal sheets were ruffled and practically on the floor when I woke up shivering in a cold sweat.

  It was only 6:00 AM. My balcony door was open to the sound of the waves crashing against the sand. The salt air made me remember why I was there in the first place.

  “I know it’s not easy, but this is necessary for your health and well being. There’s no reason for you to say anything unless you want to. I have your file in my hand. I thought it best for me to meet you on your terms.” Dr. Evans was a charismatic redheaded bombshell. She wasn’t wearing a lab coat. There was nothing clinical about her. I didn’t feel a thing.

  “My world revolves around knowing what is happening at every minute of the day. It’s galling to think I have no control over my own destiny. Some people may be able to shut out the rest of the world by stepping onto the sands of paradise, but that isn’t me.” I was trying to hold my tongue and getting hot under the collar was counterproductive.

  “You’ve already told me your assistant is more than capable. There will be time to make a phone call later this afternoon at one of the house phones. We do limit interaction with the outside world to 10-minutes.” She was very calm. It was only infuriating me further.

  “I can’t even find out what is happening on the news. There is no television and the radio plays what I would call elevator music. It’s very disconcerting. I’m more at home with sirens and car alarms going off all night long.” I could smell her perfume, but it was nothing compared to the intoxicating aroma from my sleeping stranger on the plane.

  “There’s no reason to get upset. We will delve into your emotional issues at our session at 11:00 AM. The only thing I ask is for you to be honest with me.” She put her hand on my shoulder. There wasn’t even a rise below my waist.

  “I can’t deny this place is beautiful, but even my private island is connected to the Internet. You expect me to sit idly by and let my business suffer needlessly.” The walls started to close in on me. It was the reason why I found comfort on the balcony with the hot sand stretched out in front of me. I was footsteps from the sparkling blue water.

  Dr. Evans was wearing a white summer dress with red flowers adorning the fabric. It was a gauzy material designed specifically for the Costa Rican climate. There was actually a very simple yellow flower behind her ear.

  “I’m going to make a suggestion and I hope you take it in the spirit it is given. There is a yoga session about to take place in about 20-minutes. It would be a good idea for you to join them. Center the frustration inside you.” I wasn’t sure about this new age nonsense. I was never one for healing crystals.

  “I want to be crystal clear about this. I don’t think there’s anything you can do for me. I’m willing to put in the work, but I don’t expect miracles.” I had on a flowing white pair of summer pants and a shirt to match. It was open and blowing lazily in the breeze.

  “That’s not the right attitude to have. You have to have a positive outlook. If you believe this isn’t going to work then it’s not going to work. I have a book which I want you to read at your earliest convenience. I give it to all of my patients. You would be surprised at the results.” She produced something well known to me. The Secret was about projecting positive thoughts into the universe.

  “I know all about it, but maybe I do need a refresher course. I’m going to take a walk on the beach and maybe catch up to the yoga class.” I was pretty limber, but some of those moves could be quite advanced. Trying them would make me feel muscles being used that hadn’t been used in quite some time.

  “I’m glad to hear this book has been a part of your life. I was never a believer, but my cancer has been in remission for the past two years. I prescribe to what I read in those pages. I envisioned being healthy and I believed it. The body and mind is an amazing tool. It’s all in how you use it.” She was a very calming influence. I felt my blood pressure start to lower to a manageable level.

  “I’ve used it in business, but maybe there is a way for me to utilize the same thing in my personal life. I admit to having some misgivings when I got together with the one that ripped my heart out of my chest and showed it to me.” She was following me down to the beach where the sunrise was a magical glow of orange, yellow, and red.

  “I encourage my patients to use it in every aspect of their lives. The Secret isn’t the only thing I teach. My treatment opens up the pathways of accepting those things you cannot change. Therapy will help you let things go which have negatively impacted your life.” It sounded good on paper, but I had yet to see results. It was still early. I couldn’t expect to be cured overnight.

  “I suppose you think it’s foolish for me to hold onto the anger and resentment. I would probably feel better if I stop complaining and follow the doctor’s orders.” The sand between my toes and the vision of those surfers catching the next big wave was giving me more to think about than my financial holdings.

  “Everybody gets there in their own time. No one person is ever the same. I usually make the analogy of a snowflake. Think of yourself floating aimlessly in the sky like one of those original snowflakes. The mind is fragile and there’s only so much we can take before we break.” She did make sense although she did give me the impression of sitting around in a circle singing Kumbaya.

  “I’ve done my best to live a healthy lifestyle by treating my body like a temple. I can’t say the same thing for my mental health.” I was in the best shape of my life and seeing the results in the mirror made the pain worth the gain.

  “You sound like the type of guy who sees the glass half empty. When you leave here you will always see the glass as half full. I’m glad we had this time to talk. It has given me a direction in which way my therapy is going to be catered to you.” She walked away with the dress swirling around her from a gust of wind coming from nowhere.

  I tried to forget about my financial worries and concentrated on the beauty surrounding me from every angle. I went to the water’s edge and sat down with the book in my hands. I flipped through the pages and stopped when a memorable quote jumped out at me.

  I could smell bacon and sausages assaulting my olfactory sense. I was looking forward to a hearty breakfast to stick to my ribs.

  I read the first few pages and I started to feel the weight on my shoulders lighten considerably.

  This place was a long way from San Diego. I’d been around the world, but I had always come back to the place I called home. The Spruce Street Suspension Bridge was one of my earliest memories growing up; I used to call it “Wiggly Bridge”. It was still there to this day drawing tourists from around the globe.

  I got up and brushed off the sand sticking to my clothes. I wiped my hands and carried the book like my own personal bible. I wanted something better, but I was unsure this book had the answers.

  The palm trees stretched for as far as the eye could see. They surrounded the beach and gave that necessary shade from the scorching sun. There was one gentleman using a machete to cut into a fresh coconut. He saw me standing there and offered me the one he cracked open.

  I looked around, but he was obviously offering it to me and no one else. It was delicious and sweet. It was nothing like what I would find in the states commercially on the shelves at a grocery store. This was fresh. It wasn’t going to be the last time I enjoyed the island flavors.

  “I don’t know how to say thank you in your language.” He didn’t understand, but my smile was a universal sign.

  I returned to the restaurant connected to the rehab center and headed over to the breakfast buffet. I was starving, loaded my plate with the eggs and bacon. I didn’t know where they got the bacon, but I was going to have to compliment the chef on making it to my specifications. I also found myself drawn to a medley of different fruits. It was the perfect way to cleanse my palate after the meal.

  Nobody bo
thered to come to introduce themselves. It could’ve been I was sending off this vibe to stay away. I wasn’t much for company. I was perfectly content with the plate of food and a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice.

  I saw people in various states of undress. Some even dared to wear swimsuits. I was going to have to get with the program or get lost in the shuffle. I saw the clock. I had barely made it for breakfast before they were going to clean up and get ready for lunch.

  I didn’t even have a chance to shave, shower, or put on any of my cologne. I slapped my forehead realizing I had left it behind and the last of it had already worn off while I slept. If what I did was called sleeping. Tossing and turning restlessly was not going to give me the eight hours I needed to function.

  I needed an immediate caffeine fix. If I thought it was possible, I would have them direct it right into my veins intravenously.

  I stood behind this woman who couldn’t seem to make up your mind what she wanted. She finally chose Belgian hot chocolate. It wasn’t the least bit chilled, but everybody’s body chemistry was different.

  She walked away and we briefly locked eyes. I smiled.

  The clock and my heart was the only thing I heard beating at the same time.

  She was backing away and wasn’t watching what she was doing. She bumped into one of the dishwashers carrying a load of dirty dishes back to the kitchen. She apologized profusely with a voice barely high enough to be a whisper.

  The young man wasn’t frazzled. I was sure this wasn’t the first time nor was it going to be the last time somebody made a mistake.

  She kept glancing back over her shoulder like she couldn’t quite believe I was standing there looking at her. Amazingly, she didn’t spill one single drop of her hot chocolate.

  I felt the sparks.

  I wasn’t sure if it was just my imagination. I had no idea who she was, but I was happy to know we were in the same place.

  CHAPTER 7

  Erin

  I hadn’t even talked to him and yet the irresistible attraction was there. His perfectly tousled hair, inquisitive eye brows, superman-like squared jaw, and chiseled features, he was like a marble statue that came to life.

  His smile was disarming and made me feel those butterflies in my stomach. The Belgian hot chocolate warming my fingers was nothing compared to the heat emanating between us.

  “We have a new member and I would like everybody to encourage her to introduce herself.” I tried to stay under the radar.

  “This is a safe place. I didn’t bring all of you here for one big orgy. Sex addiction is a real illness with powerful and far-reaching complications in all of your lives. You will find your stories are similar and will realize you are not alone.” She wanted me to say something. I wasn’t sure I was willing to share. It didn’t look like any one of them was going to let me off that easily.

  “My name is Erin and…I’m a sex addict.” There was a chorus of my name echoing from their lips.

  “Feel free at any time to jump in with your own thoughts. I see all of you have brought your books except one.” Dr. Evans was looking in my direction. I wasn’t ready to believe the book was the answer to my prayers.

  “Dr. Evans, I know your background and the several Ph.D.s you have in your name. It boggles my mind to think you of all people could believe in what is written in that book.” She listened without judgment and decided to turn her attention to another one of the group.

  “Jessica, you were assigned to be her welcome wagon. Tell her your story and about your experience with the book. It’s not just the book and everything in my therapy goes hand in hand. I would like her to hear your recollection of your time with us.” I had caught her eye from the moment I entered into the group.

  “I came here thinking there was nothing anybody could do. I hit my lowest point when I woke up with three men sprawled in the same bed. I could see how they had used and abused me. A light bulb went off over my head. None of them were wearing protection. It scared me to death to think of how I was taking my life in my hands. The truth is I not only slept with them but I slept with everybody they had slept with and everybody they had slept with… what a vicious cycle.” I could hear the shame and guilt in Jessica’s voice. I shared her feelings.

  “You were rather skeptical about my experimental treatment. I didn’t try to force anything on you, but I did require your willingness to listen." Dr. Evans was swaying her hands to the tropical music in the air.

  “I read a few pages at first and then I found myself immersed in the very words written on those pages. Therapy and yoga was only the beginning. Two months later and I’m ready to face the real world by leaving here tomorrow morning on the first flight out.” She sounded sane and sure of herself.

  “What are you going to do when you feel tempted by the irresistible force of sex? It will always be there like a drink for an alcoholic. They sometimes fall off the wagon and you might find yourself falling into old habits. Remember what I said to you and live by the words. Enforce them with the book and you will weather any sexual storm on the horizon.” I did move closer to the edge of my seat. They had my undivided attention. It was up to them to keep it.

  “I have to get rid of any negative influence. I have to avoid those who take advantage of my condition. They might not mean any harm, but they can’t help to want to be a part of the overwhelming need inside me. I’m going to lose some close friendships, but they will hopefully understand my position.” She was where I wanted to be. I was willing to cast aside any doubts.

  “You have learned your lessons well and everyone here in the circle of trust can take a page from your book. I can see every one of you is feeling the itch. You feel like you are drowning and looking for the next available piece of ass to save you.” There was nothing clinical about her approach. It was a bold departure from lying on a couch and droning on about my daddy issues.

  This was an open forum of communication between like-minded individuals. Sex was something we had in common. I’d already pinpointed a few within the group I wouldn’t mind making a run at. One, in particular, was undressing me with his eyes.

  The beach was her office and getting a tan while getting healthy was an added bonus. The hot rock massage and the many amenities were going to make what she was trying to sell easy to swallow.

  “I was close to falling off the wagon the first day I was here. I found some time to be alone with this guy on the beach and nothing was going to throw cold water on us. We were both able to pull away before it was too late.” Jessica was dealing with the same issues. I could almost see myself in her eyes.

  The stark reality was starting to hit me. I was slowly recognizing my destructive behavior over the last few years. It had gotten increasingly difficult to go more than one day without having physical relations.

  “I’m not going to lie to any of you. Sex addiction is one of the hardest to overcome. I will say I have had some amazing success with my practice. Keep your mind open and I promise I won’t let you down.” I believed her and her reputation did precede her.

  “Dr. Evans, I have read some of your success stories and each one sounds plausible. I’ve suffered for much of my adult life. I found a compromise by limiting my interaction with sexual scenarios. In the last three years, I’ve handled my addiction by giving into those tendencies with two guys. They are both different in their own way.” It felt good to get it off my chest. Everyone was nodding like they could empathize with what I was going through.

  “It’s good for you to recognize the problem and seek out a solution. Some can never admit they have a problem. I wonder if you truly realize the effect you have on others. Guys do have feelings even though they don’t show it very often. It might seem like an oversexed woman is exactly what they’re looking for, but even they can find heartbreak by the way you use them.” I had suspected Frank and Enrique had been harboring more than naughty thoughts.

  “I don’t want to know what they’re
feeling. I really don’t care. Even saying it makes me realize how wrong it is for me to string them along like sexual puppets.” I had no feelings toward either man. I could easily separate the friendship from the sex. The facts were glaringly obvious.

  “Men are famous for keeping women close to them. They will never admit how hurtful it is for you to use them and then toss them away like they’re nothing. Unfortunately, they will always come back looking for more when you make the come-hither sign with your finger.” I was having pangs of guilt. My conscience agreed with her words.

  “I always thought I followed the beat of my own drum. I make no emotional connections. I was never one to wear my heart on my sleeve.” I could remember each heated embrace with all the men who were my friends with benefit.

  The only two to make a lasting impression was Frank and Enrique. I never did go all the way with Frank. He was my oral outlet. We could spend an hour exploring each other’s bodies with our tongues.

  “This has been a good start, but there’s still a ways to go. I know it’s hard to open up your eyes and finally take off the blinders. This is a coed treatment center. We all know the temptation of a bronzed body.” The guy watching me had what I called a New Jersey air about him.

  “Dr. Evans has been my guiding light through this whole procedure. She’s not paying me to say any of this. I feel I need to give back to those suffering from feelings of regret. It’s fun when we are doing it, but the emptiness to follow is crippling.” Jessica had made amazing strides and was ready to face her future without sex for three months.

  I had no idea how she was going to do it. The very thought of being celibate for three months made me want to have it even more.

  The guy wasn’t even my type with an abundance of chest hair and a slimy smirk. I could see the size of his endowment. It wasn’t his face I was thinking about. I could easily fantasize it was somebody else. It wouldn’t be the first time I had to resort to my celebrity crush on Ryan Gosling or Hugh Jackman.